Freddie's Infamous Journal
by SeddieSaxie
Summary: Freddie writes in a journal that his mom makes him write in. He talks about events that happen and how he feels towards Sam. I KNOW it doesn't sound that interesting but I'd like to think that it's much more interesting than this summary. Seddie!
1. Believe Sally!

**So it's for the same thing as the Sam one. For PrincessSeddie and or littleprincessunicorn's site {see home page for link} Btw the bracts are cooler that way. Anyway these aren't up on her site yet, but when they are you should go look because her sites awesome and she makes them look insanely awesome. BUT if you haven't read Sam's diaries yet, I suggest you go read it first so this one makes more sense. DISCLAIMER: I still don't get why I have to do a disclaimer if I never claimed to own anything but whatever… I DON'T OWN ICARLY OR ANYTHING RELATED TO IT… I do have a pet rock though… MINE** Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Howdy Doody,

It's me again… Freddie.

I still don't get why my mom treats me like a girl… I mean just because she wanted one doesn't mean I AM one… For cameras sake I'm a boy!

I'm not quite sure she's gotten the message that I'm a boy yet though… Last week she lectured me on the… well… girl parts… and how important it is to tell her when I get my… You know… I tried to tell her that I'm a boy and that would never happen, but she just threw a prune pop at me and said, "You're my little girl and you will get one, you must believe Sally… Believe!!!" I tried to tell her that just because my middle name is Sally doesn't mean that's what she should call me, but then she yelled at me to go put my shoes on before my socks got germs on them.

In other news, I gave Sam a diary yesterday. I doubt she's going to actually write in it, but I don't see the harm in it… unless she actually does write in it and I lose the bet we made. The bet was that if she writes in it I get locked in a glass box, but if she doesn't she gets locked in a glass box. There are two problems with that bet though… One I don't want to be locked in a glass box, and two I don't want to lock her in a glass box.

…

I've come to realize over time that even though she tortures me to the furthest extent if the law (Some times further) I still care for her.

Is there something wrong with me? Should I despise her and even hate her for it? Should I want nothing to do with her?

BUT, there are problems in that too. I don't feel that way at all. I feel the opposite for her. I- I- I love her… A-as a friend of course, I don't despise her. I feel no hate for her. I don't want nothing to do with her, I want everything to do with her.

I'm so confused… Is what I'm feeling wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Is the fact that my mother treats me as if I were a 5-year-old girl beginning to effect me in more ways than just my pride and dignity? Should I be feeling the opposite of what I do for her? But worst of all… Am I one of those people that enjoy pain? Is what she tells me true? Is there really something mentally wrong with me?… The list goes on and on in my mind… Will these questions ever be answered? … Oh look another question… I must be "the boy of many questions" as Carly would say.

Well the person I call "mother" is calling… Oh joy another fat free, low cal, high fiber, sugar free dinner of hers… Btw the high fiber thing is new she thinks I'm constipated.

Forever tech wiz… Fredalupe

Well that's all for now I urdge you to go to PrincessSeddie and or littleprincessunicorn's site. {again, home page} It's pretty aweosme. PLZ REVIEW


	2. Does She? Really?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I read Sam's diary today… It was very interesting; it wasn't like a normal diary, in her last entry she had written it as if it were talking to her. As you might have guessed, "they" were arguing. That wasn't the most interesting part of it though, nor was the fact that she said that Gibby was dressed up as her looking at my baby pictures.

I thought I saw someone looking at those…

Anyway, the most interesting part of it was what she and… well I guess I'd have to say her self were arguing about… They were arguing over whether she liked me or not.

Is it true? Does she like me? In the end her alter ego did say that it did, but wasn't that her saying it?

I guess it all depends on how you look at it. On one hand she wouldn't admit that she likes me, but on the other hand she did. Even though it was her alter ego that admitted it, it was still her because it was all her, she was just arguing with her self like a crazy person. … Well that's kind of confusing. I think out of this entire blur I can take that Sam does like me… Maybe.

Then again, she didn't seem to want me to read it, which could have been because she knew that I would figure out that she liked me. BUT after a while she gave up on trying to get it back. Could that be because she realized that me reading it didn't matter because what she said didn't mean anything? She could of just figured that I was, in her words, to dorkish to figure it out…

This is going to take a lot of thinking to figure out. Or I could always just ask her about it. But then she would either do one of four things.

Ignore me

Lie

Hurt me in unimaginable ways

Run away

I'll never figure out that girl…

…

In other news, my mother decided that I was no longer old enough to walk across the hall to Carly's apartment by my self… Every time I go to leave she grabs my hand, then walks me the two feet to her door, THEN she proceeds to knock on the door, and ask Spencer if it's okay for me to come over… I swear if someone squirts her in the face with her own fruit sauce… I'll laugh.

Forever tech wiz… Fredalupe


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN iCarly, Barbie, OR Ken. IF ONLY I DID MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE… NOT If I owned iCarly my life would be complete. : D

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I must have a serious mental disease. I can't even seem to carry on a conversation with Sam anymore, every time she tries to talk to me I come up with some lame excuse about why I have to go, but half the time they don't even make sense. Their just things like "I'm taking my mom to birthing class," or "My sausage gave me a paper cut, I better go get it looked at." What's wrong with me? The girl of my dreams likes me and all I can so is talk about sausage? Plus every time I go to talk to her she's either on her way to go, eating, or asleep.

But a loss of words isn't my only problem. Since my mom is insisting that she knows absolutely every aspect of my life she decided that if I'm even a second late home from school, she's going to call the cops and report a run away baby girl. There are three things wrong with that sentence…  
1. I'm not a baby.

2. I'm not a girl.

3. She doesn't give me enough allowance to run away, and she knows it.

She also decided that she it was of dire importance that she reads my diary… I mean journal, because in her words "She needs to make sure that I'm thinking healthy and clean thoughts." How retarded is that? I was like "Isn't the whole point of a journal to write down your thoughts and feelings freely, and for them not to be read by others?" But all she did was steal my journal and contemplate whether or not every little line and dot was "healthy."

That's not even the worst part, she read the parts about Sam and decided it was time for "the talk." But her version of the talk isn't like normal peoples, oh no, not even close.

He version included Barbie, Ken, and a little tiny razor. She didn't even tell the truth in it. She said that if you have sex your "privet parts" will shrivel up and fall off, and all of your hair will fall out. I was like "Oh really? If that's true then why do you have hair?" Her response was a lie OF COURSE. "I've never had sex of course," she said as she got up to make a nicely grotesque fat free, low cal., fat free, high fiber, and so on, dinner.

But all that is nothing compared to my worries about what I'm going to do about Sam. I need to talk to her I know, but how? When? I need help, maybe I'll talk to Carly about it first, and she's pretty good at this sort of thing.

My mother's trying to ruin my life… Freddie


	4. Nancy Drew Oh My

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own iCarly, Nancy Drew, or Superman. Again if I did I'd have more than just a pet rock… My mother wont let me have anything else… So Mommy when you read this, can I please get that talking gummy bear from the pet store? Pweez? And if you say no, Daddy can I Pweez? … Again I DON'T OWN ANYTHING THERE THAN A PET ROCK. (The rock was a present from Vegas and it's name is Hubert.) ENJOY!** Monday, April 19, 2010

So my talk with Carly was a total disaster. First of all through the whole conversation she kept trying to get me to tell her whom I was asking about, but of course I couldn't tell her, she'd run straight to Sam and tell her every little thing that I said. Then they would proceed to go over it, probably with pen and paper, analyzing little everything I said and try and figure out what I meant by it, or what I didn't say on the subject. Second my mother, because she has been reading my journal, got to her first and told her what I was planning on doing. She also told Carly not to tell me anything on the subject of sex, or anything along the lines of growing up. So sense Carly is scared that my mother is going to murder her in her sleep with a stick of celery, she was absolutely NO help. I'm still so freaking confused.

All I think about all day is Sam. What to do about Sam, what to say to her, and if I finally gather up the courage to talk to her what the heck would I say. (And yes mother, I didn't say h-e- double hockey sticks, so no need to murder ME in MY sleep with a frozen carrot.) If only you talked back to me like Sam's diary does to her… well, otay it doesn't talk back to her she talks back for her self, but even THAT would help me right now. All I'm saying is whatever Sam's on that makes her do that, I need some of…

And mother sense I KNOW your going to read this right after I'm done writing it, I need more of the following items:

Shampoo

Conditioner

Socks

Razors

Erasers

The next _Nancy Drew _book

A new phone (Sam smashed it again…)

The new pie-cam (The one with the smaller lens)

Tighty- Whiteys (I heard they come in pink now, if so pink not white)

Low- Fat cheese-less pizza

Tick lotion

Cloud block

That'll be all. : D

I wonder if Sam can talk back to her self because she eats so much… One will never know on account of no one in the world can eat as much as that girl. I mean what the chicken fried prune pop; she eats more than a pregnant walrus!

Anyway I got to go do a dare for iCarly. This time it's going door-to-door asking for bananas.

My mother's still tries to ruin my life… Freddie

**Sorry I haven't updated I've been so freaking busy… Otay that's a lie I'm the un-busiest person on the face of Pluto, I'm just lazy! That and my computer makes me sad, all internet-less and such. That's my other excuse; my computer doesn't have Internet. So although I'm on the Internet pretty much everyday I'm using that as an excuse. Oh and in the actual thing that you were here to read I used the word "otay" just in case you were wondering, no it isn't a typo; I meant to put that. It's just one of my many coined words/phrases. Like it? If so, it tis mine and I'm going to have to ask that it isn't stolen. And on another subject… reviews. If people would like me to update faster… REVIEW. And for Superman's sake something other than "So cute, review soon" those just freaking piss me off. : D I prefer constructive criticism. Otay I'm done with this ridiculously long authors note. It'd be shorter but I have nothing better to do. Also if you haven't noticed the disclaimer and the author's note are the same on Sam and Freddie's diaries this time.**


	5. Holy Cheese

**DISCLAIMER: Do I really have to do this every time? I mean really? Haven't we already established that all I own is a pet rock? (Still waiting on permission for that talking gummy bear… Mommy, Daddy? PWEEZ, I promise I wont put it in the microwave like I did to my marshmallow. : D) Anyway sense I don't feel like losing my pet rock… I DO NOT OWN **_**iCarly **_**OR **_**Nancy Drew**_**. Got it? Otay, ENJOY!**Friday, April 23, 2010

We've had a break through! Sam and me I mean… Yes, that's right we had a REAL conversation. You'll never guess what it was about.

Give up?

Otay then I'll just tell you. It was about cheese. That's right cheese. We went on for about 15 minutes about it.

It all started in Carly's apartment. (As most of our adventures do.) Sam and I were sitting on the couch waiting for Carly to come back with dinner, and Sam started to complain that she was hungry.

"Can't you wait for Carly?" I asked forgetting my confusion for a split second.

"No, but I'd kill for some cheese right now," she replied acting as if she had forgotten about everything too.

"So go get some from the fridge," I replied trying not to choke up.

"I would but I'm too lazy," she moaned back.

"Ugh. I'll go get it. What kind do you want?" I asked, getting up from the couch and walking over to the fridge.

"I don't care, surprise me."

So, I grabbed the first block of cheese that I saw and moseyed back over to her.

"Here ya go," I said with a smile, as I handed it to her. I returned to my seat next to her on the couch and stared at her, my eyes locked on her as though they were being magnetically pulled toward her. I just stared, my heart pounding with every second; I just had to know if what I had given her was satisfactory.

Wow, she's right… I am a dork…

It's silly I know, but some how I feel like that simple conversation brought us closer to where we were a few weeks ago. I know that it was just about cheese, but I still feel as if talking to her about the diary situation will be much easier now. I don't know how, I just do.

And mother, thank you for getting me most of the items on my shopping list, I still need those razors though. I don't care if I could hurt my self. I'm not going too. I'll be fine. Oh and I finished that _Nancy Drew_ book. Could I get the next one please? Thanks!

Who ever said non-holy cheese is the best… You're so wrong…. Freddie

**I hope you enjoyed tis chapter! I'd still like more reviews that didn't just say how cute it was, or ones that I should update soon. Again those just piss me off and make me not want to update. On the other hand ones that have more content, maybe some constructive criticism, make me go faster. **


	6. Superman's Dungeon

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own iCarly or Superman, or anything related so them, although I did add something to my collection of things that I do own. I now have a rock, a stick, (although I was banned from being able to hold sticks because I kept hitting others with it) and a pile of dirt! So exciting. Anyway I DON'T own iCarly or Superman. Never have, never will. Otay? Otay. Oh and do you even have to put a disclaimer on for some thing that you said in an authors note? Hmmm… idk but just in case I DON'T OWN FUZE EITHER. Otay now enjoy.****Hi! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I just figured out what was wrong with my computer, so now I can use it again. Turns out the whole time the monitor cord had just been put in the broken plug in thingy! Boy, did I feel smart. Any way I hope you like it, I know I normally don't do the diary entries this long, and I was planning on taking longer to take the story this far but I figured I'd kept people waiting long enough, so what the heck. Anyway enjoy, and I know I could of done better but I'm a little rusty from not writing for a while. Enjoy!**Sunday, April 25, 2010

Howdy, Again! Now before you can ask, no I'm not hyper… although that couldn't possibly make my mood any better. It just so happens that I'm beyond happy. Possibly the happiest person on the face of Superman's water-filled wonderland!

Why you ask? Well I will tell you why. As you may have guessed it's because of Sam. Yes Sam. She made me eternally happy. She made me want to squeal like a pudgy little child when they hear an ice cream truck down the street on a hot summer day. Yes it was that wonderful.

It was right after the last bell had rung for the day and we were all free from prison on that beautiful April afternoon. I went to my lock to get the things I needed for the weekend and then it happened. There it was. Sitting there, just waiting for me, and only me.

There it sat. As innocent as a fly on the wall… although it you really think about it fly's really aren't all that innocent; seeing as how they like to repeatedly fly over your head when you're trying to sleep, and even after they have successfully awoken you they continue to do it! Not so innocent…. So I guess that was a bad example. I'll try again.

It sat there as innocent as a rose at it's peak of beauty. Better? I guess it is, although even though beautiful one of the thorns could poke you, which would inflict pain… okay so another bad example. I give up! It was innocent, just plain innocent, it was like nothing else and was impossible to compare to anything else. Otay? Otay.

Anyway there it sat, a plan and simple white envelope with only the word "Freddie" written very neatly in cursive on the front for decoration. I opened it. Thinking that it was probably just an invitation to some random birthday party for some one whom I don't care enough about to actually go to the party. But much to my surprise it wasn't. It was from Sam. Before I opened it my mind wondered why she didn't just tell me what ever it said in person, or over the phone, or possibly why not in a text. Sam never, in all the time I've know her, has ever done any thing like this before, when ever she have something to tell me - generally mean and degrading - shouted it to my face, or at least texted it.

I pulled the wrinkled piece of paper out of its white protective case… type thing, and read. It said:

Freddie,

Meet me at my house at 7 PM tonight. Don't be late!

Forever,

Sam

Weird right? But I thought what they hey? I guess if she took the time to write me this then why not go? So I went. When I got there boy was I in for a surprise. No there wasn't a surprise party; it wasn't my birthday or anything. But still I was shocked, like the time I found out that lobster males have to dance for a mate. Otay maybe it was more shocking than that but still.

I knocked on the door at 7:15 that night. I know the note said don't be late but mom wouldn't let me leave until after I finished my peas and carrots. (I swear that woman is going to end up in Superman's dungeon if she isn't careful.) Sam immediately came to the door, but she didn't look right. He cheeks were red and under eyes were puffy as if she had been crying. At first I though " There's got to be something else going on, Sam would never cry."

I walked into the living room where I saw used tissues scattered

about. "Uh," I asked, "What's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," she said with a slight pause, as if that weren't really what she had wanted to say, as if there was something that she was holding back, fighting to keep in.

"Then why am I here?" I asked after deciding that since she was putting so much effort in trying to hide it, the least I could do is pretend that I didn't notice anything.

"I need to talk to you," she said as if she had what she was going to say all planed out.

"Okay…" I said while walking over and sitting in my usual spot on her couch. "What's up?" I asked.

"Well… You know how it's been kind of awkward between us lately?" she muttered as she sat on the other side of the couch.

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked coming to realize that this was not going to be an easy conversation.

"I wanted to talk… talk about why that is." She said a little hesitantly.

"I-I guess," I answered with a slight stutter.

"Do you remember when it became awkward?"

"… Yes" I answered starting to become uncomfortable.

"Good so then at least we don't have to go back over that dreadful day."

"I wouldn't call it 'dreadful'," I said with a smirk appearing on my face.

"… Do you want me to hurt you? I'm trying to be civil here," she said as she shot me a glare.

"I'll be good," I said as if I were an obedient little puppy.

"Good. If that day wasn't so dreadful for you then why did you start acting differently? I was just going to act normal, you know like it had never happened."

"Because I felt bad about reading your diary?" I said trying not to make it sound like a question even though it so obviously was.

"Real reason please."

I gave a long sigh, as if I were trying to figure out the right words to put it in, like if I said it wrong it'd send her running, and then spoke. "Please don't take this the wrong way but, I started acting differently because I'd come to live with the fact that even though I liked you, that you would never think of as more than just the guy that put the pretty pictures on the screen. But then I read your diary…" I took a pause not just for effect, although it fit very well there, but also to figure out what to say next.

"And after a lot of thought, and going over what you had written in my mind so, oh so many times, I realized what it all meant… that you might possibly like me back. Although most people in the situation would jump for joy, and run to you and make sure they weren't dreaming that first chance they got, but I'm not most people, I'm the same lame dork that it took years to figure out that Carly wasn't the girl I wanted, but it was in fact you…." I stopped there; I figured that even though this was my chance, my one chance to tell her the truth and everything that I'd been longing to tell her for who knows how long, she probably needed a break from it.

"I- I so wasn't expecting that…." She managed to get out after a long silence.

"Yeah it had to be said."

"Oh…." She said still acting as if there was something that she still wanted to say.

"So why did you start acting differently?" I asked desperately trying to move the conversation along.

"I didn't," she responded.

"It takes two to tango," I replied not realizing how lame it was.

"When have we ever tangoed?" she asked starting to sound more like the Sam I had come to know and love.

"You know what I mean," I said with a dorky smirk plastered across my face.

Although I really hadn't noticed until this pointed, Sam had been slowly scooting closer to me the whole time. Now she was quite close, almost close enough to lean over and kiss…. But I couldn't, I mean how would she react? What pain could she possibly think of to inflict on me?

But then I remembered that she had let me kiss her that one time on the fire escape. So would she really hurt me for doing it again? I mean she had said it was nice… and I could totally top that, which was nothing. When we kissed then I was nervous that she was going to change her mind at the last moment, and decide to slap me across the face with a frozen fish or something. But this time I could tell would be different.

Dare I try, I thought. Yes, I decided. If I don't do it I'm going to go on wondering what could have been, what could have come of it. So I did it, I leaned over and I kissed her.

I hadn't expected her to, but she kissed me back. She didn't fight it, she didn't yell at me, or run away, no, she sat on that couch and she kissed me.

I pulled back after about 30 seconds, what I thought were the best 30 seconds of my life. "Sorry. I just had to do that," I said hoping that she wouldn't realize what had just happened and decide that it was time to inflict an immense amount of pain on me. But even if she did it still would have been worth it, I mean how many people can say that the kissed Sam Puckett? Last time I checked I was only one, but now I could say I'd done it not only once, but twice.

"Have you been practicing?" she asked now being the one with the smirk on her face.

"Maybe…" I said a little nervously.

"Well it's helping," she said with a scoot closer.

"Good to know."

She sat there on the couch as if she were expecting something. Was there something more that I needed to say? I had already said that I liked her and that I thought that she liked me. What could she possibly want? … Then I realized it as she stared into my eyes, as if she were trying to get a good look at my soul, or maybe my inner organs to see how they were arranged so that she knew where she would have to aim the bullet when she killed me.

But that wasn't it I realized as I examined her flawlessly beautiful face, her golden curls draping over her shoulder. Then I noticed that her lips looked slightly moist, making them look even more desirable than normal. She even had he bottom lip pushed slightly out as if she was begging me to kiss her. And how could I say no? I couldn't.

So I leaned over, not that I had to lean that far, and kissed her once again. But this time after about 15seconds she did something different. She opened her mouth ever so slightly, just enough so that she could nip at my bottom lip as if she were trying to tell me to open my mouth, I of course, obliged. This is when our tongues began a dance for dominance.

We sat there on the couch kissing for a while until I realized something. I realized that she had never said that she liked me. She really hadn't said much at all; I had done most of the talking. I tried to fight the urge to ask her whether she liked me or not, but I couldn't. So I pulled back to ask her.

"What'd you do that for?" she asked impatiently before I could ask my question.

"I gotta ask you something," I stated.

"Oh…" she said with a disappointed look on her face.

"Does this mean you like me?" I asked hoping that I would get a straight answer out of her, and she wouldn't try to change the subject.

"I… there's no getting out of this is there?" she asked hopefully.

She sighed and waited a minute to answer. "If I say yes," she wanted to know, "Will you kiss me like that every day?"

"Of course," I answered.

"Then yes, I like you," she said with a smile shyly appearing on her face.

I gave a slight chuckle then gave her a hug. She hugged me back. Sadly then I realized how late it had gotten and had to go home. But it was still the best night ever!

Property of Sam Puckett… Freddie

**I hope you liked this chapter thingy. Please review and tell me what you thought! And yes I have a new obsession with exclamation points... Dang you Teddie! That and I've had a lot of ice cream and Fuze to stay awake. Anyway please review! If you love me you'll review, you even will if you hate me just in spite! I don't care why you review, just review!**


	7. Botox Free At Last

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own **_**iCarly**_**, I know it's depressing, but I'm going to have to ask that every one go jump in to a giant tub of jellybeans and pudding. I don't know what this will accomplish, but still do it. Once again I DO NOT own **_**iCarly **_**or **_**Botox**_** for that matter.**

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Things between Sam and I are going great! I know it's only been a few days but I'm still very happy, and from what I can tell so it she. And her happiness just makes it all that better. I didn't think it was possible but even school is better now. I hate to admit it, but not doing my work and messing around is much more fun then being the first one to turn in all the assignments. Also my shins seem to be healing very nicely since Sam has stopped kicking me under that table at lunch; she's really a gentle person when she wants to be. Although she did insist that we have a rematch because I always let her win when we fight. It went pretty well if I do say so myself.

We were in my room last night "working" on the project that we didn't do in class that day, when she decided that it was time for our rematch, even though I was quiet enjoying what we had been doing prior. We were simply lying on my bed making out when she pulled away and went, "It's time."

"Time for what?" I asked, deeply confused as to what she was talking about.

"For our rematch," she said while sitting up.

"Now?" I asked, still lying down.

"Yes now," she answered, pulling on my arm to make me get up.

I plopped back down on the bed and lay there lifeless. "Attack me," I said with a smirk on my face.

She glared down at me, "We agreed that you wouldn't let me win," she said sounding slightly angry.

"And I wont, but we have to start some how, and I find the idea of being attacked very appealing right now," I said still lying lifelessly on the bed.

She climbed on top of me and sat on my stomach. "Fine," she whispered into my ear. She then pinned my hands against the bed.

"That all you got?" I asked a smirk still plastered across my face, like someone who's Botox just wore off.

"Well you haven't done anything yet," she answered innocently.

"True," I replied before flipping her over, so that she was now pinned to the bed. She squirmed a bit trying to get out of my grasp, but couldn't make me so much as move an inch. "Want me to let you up?" I asked, seeing that she was just going to tire herself out.

"… No I can get you off my self," she said a slight smirk appearing on her face.

"Oh really?" I asked doubtfully. "How?"

"Well if I can't do it by force, then I'll just have to make you weak."

"How exactly does that work?" I asked once again confused as to what she was talking about.

"You'll see," was all she said before she in fact did make me weak. By using really no force at all, but very simple techniques. First she kissed my neck and gave me a hickey; that weakened me a little, but not near enough to pry herself my grasp. Then she kissed me more passionately than every before, that weakened me much more and distracted me from what I was doing. I was finally weak enough for her to flip me back over so she was once again on top of me. "And that's how it's done," she said, looking down at me lovingly.

Love Drunk Beyond Belief… Freddie

**Well… I hope you liked it, and if you haven't read Sam's new diary entry, I advise you go do that before you forget… if you don't towels everywhere will get scratchy. **

**Anonymously (Yeah I don't know if that's spelled right) Random… Saxie : S **


	8. Attacking Couches Galore

**DISCLAIMER: Is this going to be a normal disclaimer that is simple at to the point? Nope, sorry try again later. I DO NOT OWN **_**iCarly**_** OR ANYTHING RELATED TO IT. I did thing of attacking couches and frozen meat though! How awesome am I? Yes I know very, but that one wasn't had to figure out. My stuffed animals told me yesterday, all 69,696,969 of them. ** Sunday, May 3, 2010

Dear Diary,

So I decided that it was time for Sam and I to have our first real date. We went on it yesterday. It was great! We went to the new move _Attack of the Couches_.Now this may sound like a funny movie, but it's not… it's actually quite scary. Lucky for me I'm man enough to not to let it get to me, and I was able to hold Sam the whole time… Okay that's not true I almost wet my self, and Sam wasn't scared at all. She… kind of held me the whole time. It was still nice though; I think she found it funny.

But who would have thought that a move about attacking couches could be scary? I sure didn't. I thought it was just going to be couches chasing people around. But no, it was couches chasing people around with chain saws, frozen meat, and a blender. It was really graphic too! I'm glad Sam liked it though; I think she really enjoyed the part about the frozen meat because afterwards she asked if we could go around beating little old ladies with frozen meat.

And mom? Stop reading my journal! It's getting really annoying. Don't make me move out again. I'll do it! Then who will you make eat your fruit sauce? Never thought of that did you? Well you just think about that. I'm going to Sam's.

Forever scared of couches… Freddie

**Well I hope you liked it. Is it weird that half the time when I go to type "liked" I accidentally type "licked"? It's like my fingers have a longing for licking. Oh well. Please review! **


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